


No homo

by Pepitabread



Category: Ylvis
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest, Sort of Dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepitabread/pseuds/Pepitabread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you really know what your sexual preference is if you've never had the chance to figure it out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	No homo

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the lame title, actually I'm sorry for the whole fic.. I hope it's somewhat enjoyable anyway :)

Bård slumped down on the sofa next to his brother after the guests had gone home. Earlier that day they had finished their last performance of Ylvis 4 in Oslo and were about to take the show on the road, and the party that followed had left them both quite intoxicated.

"Vegard?" Bård said in a quiet tone while looking at the floor.

Vegard slung his arm around Bård’s shoulder, “What’s on your mind, little brother?”

Bård took a big gulp of his drink and swallowed hard, "I think I might be into guys… in addition to girls I mean. I'm not gay."

Vegard laughed, "Yeah I've had a feeling you might be.."

Bård interrupted him "but I've had a girlfriend for years, so I can’t really test it out you know" he looked up and locked eyes with his brother, "except maybe on you."

"What??" Vegard choked, the red wine that was on its way down got stuck in his throat.

Bård fiddled with his hands, "You'd never tell anyone, so it's safe"

"What the hell Bård, I'm not gay, and you're my brother, I'm not testing anything with you!" Vegard sat up and withdrew his arm.

"Please Vegard!" Bård pleaded. "How about I give you a blowjob? You could just close your eyes, nothing gay about it for you."

"Are you stupid? I would still know it's you"

"Come onnn Vegard!" Bård looked intently at him "we're on tour for three more months, it's gonna be ages until you get a blowjob, if you'll even get one when you get home" Bård grinned at his little argument.  
"Would you rather I go out and find some random dude, and it'll end up in the paper that I cheated on my girlfriend with a guy?"

Vegard sighed, and couldn't believe that he was actually contemplating it.  
Bård was onto something though, he could just close his eyes, and..  
Before he got to finish his thought, Bård had dropped down on his knees and reached his hand out towards Vegard's zipper. "Bård, what.."

"Shhh Vegard, I'll make it good for you I promise"

He sneaked his hand inside, placed his palm over his brother’s crotch, and rubbed at it in a circular motion.  
Vegard wanted to close his eyes but somehow couldn't as Bård kept looking up at him, seemingly seeking approval that what he was doing felt good.

Bård carefully pulled down the front of Vegard’s underwear and playfully circled his finger down the now exposed member. Bård chuckled to himself. "I can't believe you’re letting me do this, you're the best brother ever!"

At that Vegard almost pulled away, but then Bård took a firm hold of his cock and started stroking it.

“Don’t call me brother right now, Bård” Vegard squeezed his eyes shut and leaned back on the sofa.

"Can you play with my hair while I blow you?"

"No, what? I.. I don't think I can do this after all, Bård" 

"Oh come on Vegard, the line is crossed already, and besides I’ve got pretty girly hair.."

“Can you just… not talk please?”

“Sure” Bård giggled “can’t talk with my mouth full anyway…” 

Bård grabbed Vegard's hand and placed it firmly on his own head, and then bent down and licked the tip of Vegard's cock.

Vegard gasped in surprise, but kept his hand on Bård's head. Bård let his tongue swirl around the cockhead while slowly pumping up and down the shaft, and before long Vegard started to respond to the sensation. Bård could barely contain his joy over making his brother hard.

“You better not be thinking of Stonehenge” he muttered under his breath, and then he went to town. He sucked and licked and stroked, and Vegard couldn't help but moan. 

"Are you sure you've never done this before?"

Bård giggled. “I thought you didn’t want me to talk... am I that good?"

"Mmhh" was all he got in reply, but then he felt a finger cautiously move around on his head. It was quickly joined by another, and soon all five fingers were dancing around in his hair, digging into his scalp every time he took his whole length in.

Vegard’s moans got louder and more frequent, but right when his breath started to get ragged, Bård pulled away and stood up.

“Bård, what the hell, why.. I was so close.. I need..” Vegard opened his eyes and saw Bård staring at him, a devious grin on his face and a bottle of lube in his hand. 

“If you want to come, you’ll have to fuck me”

Vegard groaned. “No, I can’t Bård, I have to draw the line somewhere.” 

“Vegard… it’s not really a test for me if all I get to do is to blow you.” He took a step towards the older one, “I want to try.. everything.” “It’s not like it’ll be a new thing for you is it? Taking someone up the ass? I’m the one getting the gay end of the stick here” He leaned down and cupped Vegard’s balls, straddled his lap and started grinding their cocks together.

“I don’t know, Bård, this feels pretty gay to me”

“Fine, I’ll turn around then” Bård spun around on his lap, his backside facing Vegard. “Better?”

“Little bit..” Vegard held his hands awkwardly up in the air. “Now what?”

Bård handed him the bottle of lube, “Lets find out”

\----

Bård panted as he lowered himself onto his brother’s cock. The feeling of being filled was overwhelming, but it didn’t feel particularly good. He bucked his hips a couple of times and thought about calling the whole thing off, when suddenly something felt _really_ good.

“Omg Vegard what did you do? Do it again!” he picked up the pace, determined to get his brother’s cock to hit the good spot again.

“I don’t know” Vegard answered hazily behind him. Truth was he had no clue, not only was this his first time doing anything with a man, but also his first time in anyone’s backside, and Bård’s tightness and sheer enthusiasm had him in a daze of pure ecstasy.

“Oh GOD!” Bård had evidently found the good spot. He bucked and grinded and moaned, and Vegard fell deeper and deeper into a warm fuzzy state of bliss. 

There was something about it, something about the absolute violation of everything that was considered normal brotherly behavior, that turned him on so much it threatened to send him over the edge every time he heard a moan escape from Bård’s lips. 

He watched his arm take on a life of its own as it reached forward and pulled hard on Bård’s hair, yanking his upper body back so it slapped against his chest. 

“Oww… what are you doing?”

“shhhhh” Vegard whispered in his ear “there’s something else you haven’t tested yet.” He pulled Bård’s hair so he turned around to face him, and their lips crashed together.

Bård’s heart and mind were doing summersaults as their tongues found each other. They were sat on the sofa, Bård on top of Vegard, one hand tangled in each other’s hair and one around each other’s cock, bodies grinding together and tongues intertwining. 

“I’m gonna come, Bård, I can’t hold back anymore” he whispered into his brother’s mouth. “I’m gonna come.. oh fuckkk aahhh Bård, helvete!” 

The words alone were enough to send the younger one crashing over the edge and into the abyss, and he soon joined his brother in yelling profanities as he came hard into his hand. 

\----

“Ok.. that was.. interesting” Vegard was the first one to break the awkward silence that had filled the room ever since the last wave of pleasure left their bodies. “Did you get the result you were looking for?”

Bård looked at him and smiled, “I don’t know, but from what I saw I think you need a test of your own…”

Vegard hid his face in his hands, put peeked through his fingers at his brother, “I don’t suppose you know a willing subject?...”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Just to practise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3619125) by [HannaWhatever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannaWhatever/pseuds/HannaWhatever)




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